I worked as a caterer in a bowling club once…yes once…back when I was young, and that’s where I learned what it is like to walk into an environment and made huge mistakes because I didn’t know anything about the culture.

Cheese, crackers, pickles, tea and coffee.

When you serve a pie with tomato sauce and two pieces of buttered bread.  
Okay, where in the rest of the bloody universe does that happen and why didn’t they just tell me instead of giving me “you’re a fucking idiot looks.”  
By the way, that you to the lovely woman who yelled across the cafeteria area ‘Who got that caterer, doesn’t she know anything, I asked for a pie and look what I got,’ she holds up the pie on a plate and rolls her eyes, ‘who hired that idiot.’

sandwiches and pieces of...um...what.
The tradition was (I have no idea if it still is) that Men eat sandwiches, the women have two pieces of something and a cup of tea.
stealing sandwiches
When the men are playing you leave trays of lovely fresh sandwiches which are glad-wrapped, there are two sandwiches per man so you count the number of men there and leave two sandwiches per person…and if you are me, and a Maori, you leave another tray just in case….well….no, because some men steal sandwiches and then you, the caterer get blamed when men come in off the green late and there are no sandwiches.  When you work in a bowling club you start really early in the morning and because I clean up really fast, I can get out of there at about 2pm.  But no, because men STEAL SANDWICHES
I had to stay there till 5.30 pm and dole out the sandwiches and tea and wash the cups and plates.

James Bond
By the way, there was a guy who bowled there who very handsome in an older wrinkly around the eyes, James Bond sorta way, who I found out was a multi-millionaire, and who told me that I undersold not only myself but the quality of my food.  He told me that I should charge twice as much as I thought I should and never ever settle for less than twice as much as I thought I deserved.  Didn’t understand it then, but do now, thank you James Bond.

Some Women are total bitches.
Not all of them, 95% of Women bowlers are lovely.  5% are bitter bitches. 
 Notice I didn’t say Old bitter bitches, because I’m probably as old as they were then, and I’ve met some real bitches in my time, but you put a bitch in a bowling uniform and you got queen of the bitches.  Some of the women complained about every single thing I did, mostly because they had raisins for ovaries and I was, younger very friendly to all the guys in the club who the women are either married too or trying to be married too. 
I am a good cook, I’m known for it, throughout the free world.  I am generous with my servings and my excitement and enjoyment is in the pleasure I give others.  I have never, ever given anyone so much as a jippy tummy either.  But sometimes, with some people, you can do nothing right.  I think it has been long enough and most of those people are dead so I am not maligning anyone who is still kicking around.  
To all those demanding old bitches who tried their hardest to make me feel inadequate, ALL your husbands flirted with me except yours Mrs Roberts and that's because he's gay