(I do NOT photoshop any of my selfies, I just like steak and cheese pies which fills in the wrinkles hehehe)

I went to the hospital today to get hormones checked, omg being 53 sucks.  Not funny actually, I have to get some damn exercise, but I can't as my fecked up Thyroid won't let me move beyond 10% of my previous abilities, so until thats sorted, by arse will just keep spreading and I get knackered by rolling over in bed - oh yey.

Heart of the Tapu Stone Trilogy.

When I first decided to write a trilogy it was just one of those really dumb things you say on the spur of the moment when you think, yeah, thats a good idea. Duh.  Three years later, three fecking years later, I have launched the first book, I am launching the second book, and I have finished the first draft of the third book.
Can I say that again.  Three fecking years.
So now I have written three books with the same characters why?  
Because I love those characters I can't even say they are from me.  There are characters in it that are absolutely like me but actually I think you will have a hard time figuring out who those characters are and a good time guessing.  


My youngest son who is going to study in NYC, by himself next year,  the incomparable, fantastically talented,
PLUNDAH

As a parent I seem to qualify everything I say these days with 'but don't listen to me, I'm an idiot, God what do I know.'  
But the thing is, it's true,   I know nothing, and I mean NOTHING about the world that my kids and grandchildren are growing up in.  They are the explorers going out into the darkness with a broken compass, a miners lamp on their head and a box of cabin bread.  What advice can I offer except for, dress warm and watch how you cross the roads.  I think as a parent I am essentially useless now.
I just hope that I led a good enough life so that they know how to get through from one day to another striving for what they want out of life.  One think I know for sure is the worst thing a parent can teach a child, or rather heap upon a child is fear.  
If I let my kids see how afraid I am for them It could potentially crush every iota of confidence out of them.
The other day I had a mini melt down and told my son Tama aka Bucket aka PLUNDAH  exactly how I felt about him going to study music in NYC alone.  I told him how terrified I was for him and it wasn't pretty and there were lots of tears mine - and lots of laughter - his.  
He said I didnt even like him going down to the shop and he was totally right.  I hate it everytime he is not under my beady eye. But like I said, at the end of spilling my guts, I said,  'DON'T LISTEN TO ME, I'm an idiot, God what do I know.'  
To which he agreed, twat.
He also said, 'You didn't say this when Nathan and Jenna-Rose decided to go overseas.'
He's right, I didn't.  All I said to them was  'Be free, have a great time.'  But that was NOT what I was feeling.
I even did it to my husband, I told him to go away, see the world, experience some life before you get tied down.  He ended up in Brissy for a while.  But that is a whole other story.
I would like to control the world, but I stop myself.  I cannot control ANYTHING and anyone who thinks they can is 'dreamin'
PLUNDAH - Every child is different and every kid  emerging into this world is already who they are going to be, and all we have to do as parents is let them get on with it. Well...that's what I did and worked out alright.  
That's also what I write about.
Once that cord is cut they are out there on their own and whatever we add too the mix can either help or hinder and you never, ever, have have any idea which is going to do what.
Kids are gonna do what they are gonna do.  

So I am allowed to have mini meltdowns and cry and then say - 'don't listen to me - what do I know.

Love Oliviaxxxx